The reality - I'm tired and a little cranky today . . .

I am so frustrated and tired right now. I haven't had a chance to write a real blog in awhile because of my super busy schedule. Today I just have to do it though - it's just too much right now.

This is going to be a serious one, so read at your own risk.

My husband is in the hospital for the 10th time in as many months. I could go on a complete tirade about the health care system and how inconceivable (inconthevable! tee hee) it is, but I won't.

I am going on 3 hours of sleep and I think stress is what is pushing me along right now. I had an idea of a long blog I wanted to write, but I'm running out of steam, so I'll try to keep it coherent, at least, at this point.

I read this blog after seeing the suggestion on it's so FUZZY and it occured to me . . . my life has sorta forced me to live this way already. I totally see where the author is going with this, but my first reaction was that there are some people out there that will take it too far. Maybe it's because I'm around someone who does just that and I've had to separate myself from this person lately, but I feel there needs to be a distinction between being real and complaining about your life.

Don't get me wrong - I am in complete agreement with taking away perfection and being real with everyone, I just think it needs to be clear where real ends and complaining begins. It's one thing to let someone know how difficult a time you are having dealing with a hurtful spouse, it is quite another to complain about how your spouse is not doing what you think they should. Or, it's one thing to be honest about your insecurities, it is another thing to point out all the "flaws" you have in hopes that people will tell you there's nothing wrong. Talking about your problems to someone who cares is not the same as talking about everything wrong in your life to the person who will listen. See what I'm talking about?

Having someone who is chronically ill and there is nothing I can do really makes me rethink what is worth my time and what is not. It also has made me get to the point a lot faster because I don't have time to be discreet. I don't want to spend time trying to figure out what will offend someone and what doesn't - BUT that doesn't mean I don't care about other people and are not mindful of how I affect those around me. I care deeply for those in my life and appreciate the time I get to spend with them. If anything, my life right now makes me really take notice of what is going on in the lives of my friends and family and truly care about how they are doing.

People just want to know they are not alone . . . that's what it comes down to. For me it takes talking to those I know about what is really going on in my life and hearing what is going on in theirs. Maybe that's why Facebook works so well for me. I get to know what is going on in all my friends lives everyday and can tell them what is going on in mine. It lets me spend time with friends even when I'm busy dealing with horrible doctors and uncomfortable chairs.
I want to expand on this topic more, but didn't want to let it get too far away from when the original blog was posted.

It's amazing how quickly things can change in our lives and how quickly we see everything differently.

Be real and be caring . . . we're not perfect, but if we are true and honest it won't matter.

Thanks again for your time. Have a wonderful weekend!

Five on Friday - Double dose in double time!

I realized I forgot to post one last week, so I made a list of 10 things this week to make up for it. Unfortunately I'm going to have to go into detail about my list next week when I have a little more time. For now, here are the 5 (times 2) things I am happy about this week:

1. Prayer
2. Internet
3. Inside Jokes
4. Costumes
5. Acne treatments
6. Free refills
7. Cubicle mates
8. Water
9. My bed
10. Sleeping in

I'm off to a dress rehearsal for The Music Man! It opens this weekend and I'm super excited to get all of this started.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Five on Friday

It was a short week, but I'm always glad to see Friday come around :).

1. Farmers' Market - Every Thursday there is a small farmers' market outside my work. It is literally right across the street from our front door. It's an extension of the Pike Place Market with local growers setup during the day. I love to get the $5 - $10 bouquets they have every week. Right now the dahlias are in season and the bouquets are beautiful. Yesterday I ended up with 2 bouquets - a $5 I bought and a HUGE one that my husband bought for me :). I kept the one I got at work and took the big one home. It was so large I had to split it up into 2 vases. They are now sitting in my bathroom and make me smile everytime I go in there.

2. Spoiling my cats - My cats are my fur babies, as much as I dislike describing them that way. I love them so much and am so glad they are in my life. We went shopping yesterday to get all the supplies we needed now that we've moved. They got new collars (after they took off the cheap ones we got a couple weeks ago), a fountain water dish (they like running water) and a food dish with a timer (because they need to lose weight). I get so much joy in seeing them play around in their new area and just want to make them as comfortable as possible.

3. Train rides with friends - Now that we have moved I have a longer commute to and from work. We are closer to our best friends though, and they work in the buildings next to mine, so it works out well. I've gotten a chance to ride the morning train in with my friend twice this week and it's so good to talk and catch up.

4. Warm weather - I have used sunshine and blue skies already, so I thought I would put warm weather this time to encompass these beautiful summer days. I love sunny, warm weather and they are definitely here right now.

5. New stuff - Now that we've moved we have a little bit of extra funds. It still goes quickly, but it's been nice to be able to get some not so necessary things.

Well, it's been a busy, whirlwind type of week for me. Even though it was a long weekend and short week, it was chocked full of a lot of things to do. Here's to the weekend!

a beautiful sunny day :)

For the love of blogs has a picture blog up right now and I just wanted to show a fun and sunny picture I took.

Enjoy the sun while it's around :)!

Five on Friday - Labor Day Weekend edition

It's a 3-day weekend for me :)! Sadly it's pretty bittersweet because of things going on in my life, but at least I won't have to worry about work for 3 days. One less stress is better than nothing.

It's been another tough week, so I need to really appreciate what I do have. Here's my list for this week of what I am thankful for:

1. Wilfred - if you haven't heard of this show and have a strange sense of humor (or one similar to mine) I highly recommend seeing this show. It's our show not to miss during the week (even though I missed this week's, but we'll catch up). It's on Thursdays at 10pm on FX and I am shocked at what they get away with on this show. Plus, it was adapted from an Australian show and the main character is played by the same actor for both shows. From what I can tell both renditions are still aired on tv. Check it out, seriously. It's hilarious.

2. Red State - Okay, so I haven't seen it yet, but I'm really looking forward to seeing this movie. Hopefully I can get internet up and running so I can see it soon.

3. Chrysanthemums - I bought some pretty mums the other day for one of my new managers for a welcome present. I'm not sure if he will actually take care of them, but I really liked how they looked.

4. NO RENT!! - We have officially moved out and when my 1st of the month check hit my account this week it was awesome to know that I didn't have to automatically turn it around and pay rent. We also got most of our deposit back yesterday when we did our final walkthrough. It is lovely not to feel broke right at the beginning of the month.

5. Nostalgia - We moved back into the house I grew up in to help with finances and my family. With that comes a lot of memories from the house and the area I now drive to and from everyday. Added to that is a new radio station called GENX (probably KGNX) that plays nothing but music from the '90s - all stuff I used to listen to when I first started driving and when we first moved to the area. It's been fun recounting memories to my husband, even though he's probably heard all the stories already.

So there you have it for this week. Added bonus - 6. Labor day weekend!!!

Have a fun and safe weekend everyone!

Popular, you're gonna be pop-u-lar

GLINDA:
(Spoken)
Elphie,now that we're friends, I've decided to make you my new project!
ELPHABA:
(Spoken)
you really don't have to do that...
GALINDA:
(Spoken)
I know, that's what makes me so nice!
(Sung)
whenever I see someone less fortunate than I,
and let's face it, who isn't less fortunate than I?
my tender heart tends to start to bleed.
and when someone needs a makeover,
I simply have to take over!
I know I know exactly what they need!
and even in your case,
though it's the toughest case I've yet to face,
don't worry, I'm determined to succeed!
follow my lead,
and yes indeed, you will be...
POPULAR! you're gonna be popular!
I'll teach you the proper ploys,
when you talk to boys,
little ways to flirt and flounce, ooh!
I'll show you what shoes to wear!
how to fix your hair!
everthing that really counts to be...
POPULAR! I'll help you be popular!
you'll hang with the right cohorts,
you'll be good at sports,
know the slang you've got to know.
so let's start,
'cause you've got an awfully long way to go!
don't be offended by my frank analysis,
think of it as personality dialysis,
now that I've chosen to become a
pal, a sister and advisor,
there's nobody wiser!
not when it comes to...
POPULAR! I know about popular.
and with an assist from me,
to be who you'll be,
instead of dreary who you were...uh, are.
there's nothing that can stop you,
from becoming populur... lar...
la la, la la!
we're gonna make you pop-u-lar!
when I see depressing creatures,
with unprepossessing features,
I remind them on their own behalf
to - think - of
celebrated heads of state,
or 'specially great communicators!
did they have brains or knowledge?
don't make me laugh!
they were POPULAR!
please! it's all about popular.
it's not about aptitude,
it's the way you're viewed,
so it's very shrewd to be,
very very popular like ME!
(Spoken)
why, miss Elphaba, look at you.
you're beautiful!
ELPHABA:
(Spoken)
I, I have to go...
GALINDA:
(Spoken)
you're welcome...
(Sung)
and though you protest,
your disinterest,
I know clandestinly,
you're gonna' grin and bear it!
you're new found popularity!
ah!
la la, la la!
you'll be popular!
just not quite as popular as ME!

Okay, this was a long introduction for my blog, but when I saw the Cheesy Bloggers theme of "popularity" I automatically thought of this song. In fact, I sing it in my head anytime someone says the word popular. It also helps set the scene for my thoughts on popularity.

I've read a couple of the blogs on this topic through Cheesy Bloggers and it seems like most of us were not in the popular crowd in school. It also looks like we kind of got over our need to be popular once we left the school scene and continued on to our lives. I think that is also mostly true for me. I do have a different aspect in my life than most of the friends I have or bloggers of the blogs I've read. I am a part of a culture that makes its business on getting people to notice them and acknowledge them as something special. If that doesn't happen, everything that they work for is for nothing. In essence, if something isn't popular, it is a failure. The culture I'm talking about is the musical theatre crowd.

I was writing a long explanation of how I got into the musical theatre arena, but that was turning into a book, so I decided to rewrite my thoughts a bit.

Where I went to school it was a big deal to be in choir . . . not like you see on Glee where they are outcasts. We also weren't like Glee in the aspect of a show choir either,we were just a large choir in velvet robes and satin sashes. We were not the outcasts; we were the people everyone wanted to talk to and get to know. I had a strange experience in High School when I was in Concert Choir (the highest auditioned choir in High School) where someone said they knew me and knew about me and I had never talked to them before. It was strange to think that people wanted to know about me just because I was a singer.

This only helped me when I entered college and had to audition for the college choir. I got my degree in Music Arts, but when I began college I was a Music Ed major. I had to be in choir and the top choir was what I and many other students aspired to be a part of. The people in that choir were the rock stars of the music community. I hated getting into the all girl choir as a freshman and sophomore. Then I tried out as an alto OR soprano my junior year and suddenly skipped over the intermediate choir and got to become a “rock star” for the next 3 years (I went to college for 6 years for my BMA, which is a whole other story). I became one of the “popular” girls for the second time in my academic life, but I was an outcast within the popular crowd, if that makes any sense. So even though I have been in the popular arena I still felt out of place and separated from it all.

Fast forward to now – I am part of my second musical theatre production with the same company. I have not gotten a specific role yet, but I’m working to get that accomplished. I’m on “the other side of the fence” these days when it comes to being a musician . . . meaning I’m older than most leads are in the theatre. I’m “over the hill” so to speak . . . although I still have a lot to do in order to reach my prime singing potential. The popularity that I experienced in school translates to the stage so well. It becomes almost political in nature. It’s like popularity on steroids in the music business. Especially for women and absolutely especially for women sopranos. It’s who you know and how you’re regarded that makes a lot of difference. I have to put in my time being in the background in order to get noticed enough to be brought forward. It hasn’t happened yet, but almost. I just have to keep plugging away.

All in all I’ve had my ups and downs with being popular, but would have never considered myself that. In retrospect, if I would have just realized I was popular in my circles it might have gotten me farther . . . or I might have been more mischievous than I was, but it’s probably better that I wasn’t.

I consider myself a gamer girl with a passion for music more than anything else. And I guess that’s all that counts in the end.